By Marsha Woods
I'M BACK! Most of you are likely asking yourselves, " Oh, was she gone?" It's nice to be missed! Nonetheless, yes, I have been on vacation for awhile! No I have not been laying on a deserted white sand beach in a bikini (God Forbid!) drinking fruit flavored drinks with bright colored umbrellas! No! I have not been luxuriating on a world wide cruise exploring the wonders of the world! Nor have I been on a geological dig or been sequestered in a convent contemplating the complexities of life! (Although that could have proven to be more restful!)
SO! What kept me in seclusion? An imposing and frightening piece of technology! That's what!
I have a huge paranoia when it comes to reptiles! I equate a computer to a sneaky, slimy, slithering snake!
To explain; a few months ago, my best friend died! Yep! I went into a great mourning! They say that the only way to get over grief is to get back on the horse! (WHAT?) So, I saddled up the pony. replaced the Old Grey Mare and got ready to ride! Why didn't someone tell me that that ponies come with companions? Mine came with a protector! Tucked into the saddlebag was a stinking, coiled up, egotistical, rattler who thought he was the king and ready to strike at any moment! I, of course froze!
I prayed! I called a snake whisperer! I tiptoed around the bugger! I panicked for months until one day the dang thing suddenly slithered away! I think he just got bored laying around or else he got hungry! Darned if I care! No way was I going to feed the sucker, even if the mice in my cupboards would provide a feast! Once he was gone, my cautionary instincts kicked in and stealth like, I proceed to go forward! I still don't trust that disgusting reptile! I look over my shoulder at every turn thinking that he will come out of the shadows ready to strike again! Nonetheless! I proceed, armed with ammunition! After all, I am known for talking things to death! Perhaps the critter just finally expired from hearing about my past! Snakes are not used to being shrinks!
YEP! I'M BACK!